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August 2, 2025
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The Mocking Post
A joyful young man jumps midair with clouds and blue sky in the background, exuding energy and freedom.

I Won the Lottery and Immediately Did Everything Wrong

August 2, 2025
| Finance, Home
From announcing it on Facebook to Venmoing my ex, here’s a comprehensive guide to ruining sudden wealth in 72 hours.

We Launched!
Read our Press Release!

Jesse Watters

Clay Travis Punished His Kids by Making Them Read Kamala’s Book, Now They Ask Smart Questions

DeMockracy, Family, US
A glowing neon sign displaying an upside-down motivational quote against a dark background.

We Asked 5 Life Coaches for Advice. They Asked Us for Venmo.

Demotivational, Mental
Close-up of a red cap with 'Make America Great Again' and a small American flag.

New Tariffs Help Americans Pay More, Feel Patriotic Doing It

Business, DeMockracy, Finance
Overjoyed African American graduate tossing copies of resumes in air after learning news about successfully getting job while sitting in green park with laptop

Ghosted by a Recruiter? That’s Just Free Character Development

Business, Work
Father and son engaged in a heartfelt conversation on the sofa, illustrating parenting in a loving family setting.

Modern Parents Confuse Basic Survival With Abuse, Say Adults Who Survived It

Family
A hand holds an aged, crumpled paper with a handwritten note saying 'Please' in cursive.

The Guest List

DeMockracy, Poems

Sign up for our newsletter — The Mocking Memo

Get the latest news in your inbox! Headlines, and cultural confusion, delivered twice a month.

I want it
I can handle it

politics

Jesse Watters

Clay Travis Punished His Kids by Making Them Read Kamala’s Book, Now They Ask Smart Questions

DeMockracy, Family, US
Close-up of a red cap with 'Make America Great Again' and a small American flag.

New Tariffs Help Americans Pay More, Feel Patriotic Doing It

Business, DeMockracy, Finance
A hand holds an aged, crumpled paper with a handwritten note saying 'Please' in cursive.

The Guest List

DeMockracy, Poems
Close-up of a 'We the People' scroll on an American flag cloth background.

We Don’t Need More Outrage — We Need Smarter Listening

DeMockracy, Opinion

Relationships

Jesse Watters

Clay Travis Punished His Kids by Making Them Read Kamala’s Book, Now They Ask Smart Questions

DeMockracy, Family, US
Father and son engaged in a heartfelt conversation on the sofa, illustrating parenting in a loving family setting.

Modern Parents Confuse Basic Survival With Abuse, Say Adults Who Survived It

Family
Close-up of hands holding Lotto Max papers inside a car, symbolizing luck and chance.

Man Quietly Wins Lottery, Suddenly Becomes “Soulmate” of 43 Women From High School

Dating, Finance
Portrait of a surprised man with eyeglasses pointing, dark background.

Woman Demands Boyfriend Cut Ties with Female Friends, Maintains Bond with Guy Friend

Dating, Friendship, Relationship

Random Articles

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A hand holds an aged, crumpled paper with a handwritten note saying 'Please' in cursive.

The Guest List

DeMockracy, Poems
DualSense Video Games Controller

Freshman Develops Entire Personality Around Dorm LED Lights

Mockademia
A glowing neon sign displaying an upside-down motivational quote against a dark background.

We Asked 5 Life Coaches for Advice. They Asked Us for Venmo.

Demotivational, Mental
Silhouette of a hand placing a vote into a ballot box, symbolizing democracy.

Proposition 47B Would Ban Future Propositions, Voters Unsure Whether to Support

DeMockracy
Chaz with Tom Holland and Zendaya

Zendaya & Tom Holland Deny Their Relationship Is “Just for PR”

Celebrities, UnAsked
A cozy couple lounging in bed, streaming Netflix together on a laptop, enjoying a peaceful moment.

Netflix Announces Gritty Open-World Adaptation of Candy Land

Entertainment
  • Popular
  • HERsay
  • MANalogue
Dr. Doctrine

BREAKING: Woman Called Brave for Having Opinion

Apparently, expressing a thought now qualifies as heroism — as long as you smile afterward and include a disclaimer in…
Relaxed woman using smartphone and laptop for online shopping at home.

Woman Opens New Credit Card to Prove She’s Emotionally Ready for Europe

She’s not impulsive. She’s preparing. Financial experts are unclear if €14 rosé in Lisbon counts as personal growth, but she’s…
Artistic black and white portrait of a man in Atlanta casting shadows.

He’s Not Emotionally Unavailable, He’s Just Spiritually Inactive

He meditates twice a week and owns a candle. But when it comes to real intimacy, he vanishes like incense…
Business professional in suit smiling confidently in a modern office environment.

I Don’t Believe in Luck. I Believe in Being So Loud They Let You Win Out of Exhaustion

I’ve never been the best in the room — just the most committed to refusing to leave it. I succeed…

I’m Not Ghosting You. I’m Dissociating With Style.

Yes, I saw your text. I even rehearsed a reply in three emotional dialects. Then I floated into the ceiling…
Silhouette of a man seated on rocks, gazing at a serene Lake Tahoe sunset.

My Favorite Moments Are When No One Needs Anything From Me

No emails. No calls. No decisions to make. Just me, a lawn chair, and the raw, unsupervised freedom of temporary…

Predictably wrong

Wooden letters forming 'SORRY' on a burlap surface, offering a rustic apology vibe.

Sagittarius Season Begins With Loud Apologies

Close-up of a fortune cookie with message on a red tablecloth, symbolizing luck.

Red States Begin Banning Electric Cars for Being “Too Woke”

A miniature black car on a detailed map of Scandinavia, symbolizing travel adventures.

Google Maps Adds ‘Emotional Terrain’ to Help Avoid Bad Vibes

A woman with headphones enjoys music while surrounded by magazines and a laptop in a cozy bedroom setting.

Spotify Introduces “Vibe Score” to Shame Your Taste in Real Time

Entertainment

Man Mistaken for Cosplaying Wolverine Was Just a Tired Dad from Burbank

A couple enjoying a relaxing movie night, sitting on a sofa with popcorn and a TV remote.

Streaming Service Launches Entirely for Shows You Lie About Watching

A couple enjoys streaming shows on a large TV in a cozy, brick-walled living room.

Netflix Promotes New Series by Releasing Entire Plot in Trailer

Close-up of a musician playing an acoustic guitar, wearing a leather jacket.

Post Malone Releases Country Album, Fans Unsure If It’s a Bit or the Future

business

Close-up of a red cap with 'Make America Great Again' and a small American flag.

New Tariffs Help Americans Pay More, Feel Patriotic Doing It

Overjoyed African American graduate tossing copies of resumes in air after learning news about successfully getting job while sitting in green park with laptop

Ghosted by a Recruiter? That’s Just Free Character Development

Close-up of a fortune cookie with message on a red tablecloth, symbolizing luck.

Red States Begin Banning Electric Cars for Being “Too Woke”

A diverse group of college students engaging in a lively study session indoors.

Girl Gets 3 Days Detention for AirDropping Inspirational Quote

Dear Dr. Doctrine

My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.

I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming…

Corporate Stars That Shouldn’t Collide

Astronomer CEO Andy Byron says the universe “sent a sign” during Coldplay—unfortunately, it looked a lot like being…

My Burnout Coach Gave Me Homework

When self-care becomes another deliverable. Dr. Doctrine decodes the emotional invoice, and Ricky Machismo responds with grit, dumbbells,…

My Four-Year-Old Called Me Emotionally Unavailable

When toddlers start diagnosing attachment issues, is it growth or generational backlash? Dr. Doctrine offers a dose of…

My Husband Listens to Therapy Recordings at 2x Speed

When emotional growth meets audio compression. Dr. Doctrine weighs in on relationship multitasking, and Aria adds her elegantly…

unasked

Donald Trump and Kara Conforman

“You’re Welcome, America” — Trump Interviewed About Unreleased Epstein List

Patty and Hunter Biden Laptop

Hunter Biden’s Laptop: “I Just Wanted to Be a Printer.”

Chaz with Tom Holland and Zendaya

Zendaya & Tom Holland Deny Their Relationship Is “Just for PR”

Kara and MrBeast

MrBeast: “I’m Just a Kid With a Billion-Dollar Piggy Bank”

health

A glowing neon sign displaying an upside-down motivational quote against a dark background.

We Asked 5 Life Coaches for Advice. They Asked Us for Venmo.

Man Earns Black Belt Online in 6 Weeks — Immediately Opens Dojo in Strip Mall

I’m Not Ghosting You. I’m Dissociating With Style.

Silhouette of a man seated on rocks, gazing at a serene Lake Tahoe sunset.

My Favorite Moments Are When No One Needs Anything From Me

lifestyle

A joyful young man jumps midair with clouds and blue sky in the background, exuding energy and freedom.

I Won the Lottery and Immediately Did Everything Wrong

Woman pours water for lemon ginger infusion, promoting health and hydration.

Woman’s Morning Routine Has Gone from Empowering to Logistically Exhausting

A smiling woman holds freshly harvested bell peppers inside a lush greenhouse.

Farm‑Girl Summer Became a Trend, Now Everyone’s Pinteresting Their Way to Boredom

Smiling woman applying mascara in front of a vintage mirror.

Friend’s ‘No Makeup Look’ Forces Woman to Rethink Entire Face

faith

A college student writing on a test paper while looking away in a classroom setting.

Student Develops Intense Relationship With God During Finals, Forgets Him by Break

A small red chapel with a white cross nestled in a lush green forest in Portland, Oregon.

Local Church Announces Rebrand: From Fellowship Hall to ‘Spirit Lounge’

A man in a beanie and hoodie deeply praying outside in a lush green forest.

Man’s Faith Grows Stronger with Every Comment Section He Avoids

A confused man indoors looks up while holding a smartphone and credit card, concerned about a financial issue.

Man Says He’s Waiting on God, Declines to Answer Phone or Emails

Mockitors (Editors

Lance Outrage - Opinions So Hot They Leave a Rash

Lance Outrage

Lance files grievances like Yelp reviews—sharp, personal, and always with a suggested solution.
Lux Wilde - Serving looks, leaks, and late-stage culture collapse.

Lux Wilde

Decoding fame, fashion, and your latest spiral. Lux files it all under performance art with a moodboard and mild psychosis.
Dr. Sabrina Doctrine, PhD - Licensed in Emotional Overreaction

Dr. Sabrina Doctrine, PhD

Where therapy meets sarcasm. Dr. Doctrine untangles modern delusion with calm judgment and deeply concerned side-eye.
Connor

Connor Descend

Connor translates tech arrogance into digestible smugness. It’s not helpful, but it is monetized.
Aria Wilde - Weaponized Grace Since the Womb

Aria Wilde

Every sentence a silhouette. Aria walks the line between elegance and evisceration, documenting image as identity’s last defense.
Keanu Gebe

Keanu Gebe

Keanu speaks Gen Z, fluently and with just enough sarcasm to stay suspended.
Derek Brutal - No Sugar. All Salt.

Derek Brutal

Brutally honest? No. Just brutal. Derek turns honesty into a weapon of mass disapproval.

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Proudly protected by the First Amendment and poor impulse control.

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