I’m Not Emotionally Unavailable, I’m Just Pacing Myself Like a Limited Series
I feel things. I just prefer to release them in eight episodes, one week at a time, with a two-year break between seasons.
Politicians Celebrate Christmas by Cutting Food Programs the Next Morning
Politicians praise generosity on Christmas Day, then move to cut food assistance programs the next morning, proving empathy has a very short shelf life.
Woman Redesigns Apartment to Match Life She Isn’t Living Yet
It’s minimal, elegant, and emotionally unavailable. Much like the version of herself she hopes to become once she starts waking up at 6:00 a.m.
Americans Demand ‘Keep Christ in Christmas,’ Ignore Everything Christ Actually Said
Americans demand Christ stay in Christmas, while supporting policies that cut food, healthcare, and aid Jesus explicitly taught people to provide.
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Random Articles
He’s Not Emotionally Unavailable, He’s Just Spiritually Inactive
He meditates twice a week and owns a candle. But when it comes to real intimacy, he vanishes like incense…
I’m Not Intimidating, You’re Just Not Comfortable Around Women Who Know Themselves
He said I was “a lot.” I said thanks. He meant it as a warning. I took it as confirmation.
BREAKING: Woman Called Brave for Having Opinion
Apparently, expressing a thought now qualifies as heroism, as long as you smile afterward and include a disclaimer in parentheses.
Woman’s Profile Powered by Quotes Raises Alarms for Thought Drought
She’s manifesting love, but only using fonts from 2014. Experts warn the rise in recycled quote bios may signal…
My Buddy Found Peace, Culture, and Life in the Philippines
My friend Richie went to the Philippines for peace, beaches, and new beginnings. He found all that, plus a Balut…
My Dad Fixed the Sink, I Called a Plumber. What Does That Make Me?
He used a wrench and confidence. I used Yelp and panic. But hey, the drip’s gone — except the one…
Predictably wrong
Entertainment
business
Dear Dr. Doctrine
My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.
I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming…
Corporate Stars That Shouldn’t Collide
Astronomer CEO Andy Byron says the universe “sent a sign” during Coldplay—unfortunately, it looked a lot like being…
My Burnout Coach Gave Me Homework
When self-care becomes another deliverable. Dr. Doctrine decodes the emotional invoice, and Ricky Machismo responds with grit, dumbbells,…
My Four-Year-Old Called Me Emotionally Unavailable
When toddlers start diagnosing attachment issues, is it growth or generational backlash? Dr. Doctrine offers a dose of…
My Husband Listens to Therapy Recordings at 2x Speed
When emotional growth meets audio compression. Dr. Doctrine weighs in on relationship multitasking, and Aria adds her elegantly…
unasked
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Kara analyzes power like she’s trying to seduce it—and often succeeds.
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Scott keeps the office clean and the secrets dirty.
Terry Apocalypse
Terry forecasts societal doom with the optimism of a man who invested in canned cheese futures.
Babs Relata
Babs unpacks trauma and trending audios with the same urgency—both are clout currency.